Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
