try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
