so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
