big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
