Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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