So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
