Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Of course I have a pirate flag
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
