I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
