dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
