So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
