I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
