So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
