You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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