Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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