She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
