There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
