Joe is yelling at the trees again.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
