We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I want you more than these girls want KFC
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
