Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
