Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
