i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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