i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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