A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
