Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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