Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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