i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Randomize
