To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
if only i could text you this smell
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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