I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
