I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Bring me that man meat
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
