he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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