i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
