guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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