Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
