Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
