discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
