New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
