all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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