Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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