He had one of those small greek statue penises
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
