Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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