I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
