Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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