You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
