Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
