I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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