shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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