I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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