You just made me feel so damn special
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Of course I have a pirate flag
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
