Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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