Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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