i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
