I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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